Personal Practice · yoga

Breathing Through the Hard Times

I had a particularly hard day on Thursday. I had a frantic morning, which is never a good way to start a day. After sleeping through my alarm, I had to try and find my uniform and shoes. When I arrived at work, I was pulled aside and told that I was not right for the position and that they had to let me go. I loved working with the children there and I was absolutely heart-broken to start with, but as I drove home (which by the way takes me an hour) I started to think about where the sadness was coming from. I thought it would be coming from a place of anger, I found instead that I was actually breathing in a deep sense of relief.

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I hadn’t known it, but I was becoming increasingly paranoid working in that environment. I was surrounded by self-doubt and criticism. This was a surprise, so I decided to turn off the radio and just sit with myself and really focus on the road ahead of me. As I drove towards home, it became clearer that while I had to allow myself feel sad, I wasn’t as sad as I should have been. I had just lost my income and a job that I thought I loved, but was it the job I loved? After a lot of breathing and a lot of thinking, it became clear that  it wasn’t the job that I loved, but the interaction with the children. I was not a good environment for me to be in.

I arrived home to a loving husband and two howling puppies (thank you to my sister for teaching them that little trick) and went back to bed. I know this doesn’t sound very healthy, but I think at that time it was the best thing I could do. So my husband and I got back into bed and I went to sleep for an hour. When I woke up, I got in the shower, and plopped myself on the sofa. I opened my laptop, booked myself a hair appointment and started applying for jobs. I landed an interview that same evening and attended the interview on Friday morning. This helped an awful lot. This allowed me to regain my confidence. What helped even more, was the getting a 3 month contract with a lovely child care center. So go me! Felt wonderful.

That was all it took to get through this very hard news. Taking a breath, listening to my body and restarting my day. Obviously this is not a way to handle every curve ball that life throws at you, but for this big blunders it might be best to just go back to bed, breathe until you are ready to restart the day with a more positive mindset. If you cant get out of bed, then try sitting for a moment. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions is hard, but as I have already stated in my previous post Allowing Children to Feel, Self-regulation and Hearing What They Have to Say. letting yourself feel is so important. You have to be able to let yourself feel the present emotions otherwise they will come back to haunt you later in life. If I use my day as example, it might have taken me much longer to start applying for jobs, and then it would have made me flustered during my interview. This was not the case, instead I took it step by step and breathed through the interview and landed the job! So wonderful!

If this had happened a few weeks ago, I honestly don’t know how long it would of taken me to recover. I have suffered with depression for a long time and if I hadn’t been participating in a daily yoga practice, I am unsure that I would have been in such a stable place. My darling husband has been so supportive of my journey and I am nearly at the end of my 40 days of yoga. I was going to take a few days off, but after reflection, I have decided to move straight onto the 400 Days of Yoga.

 

 

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